Ace's Journal
Apr. 14 2023: Well, I kind of abandonded this page for a bit. I've had some stuff go on in my life, mainly doctors appointments, shitty mental health, the works. I recently saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with C-PTSD, Bipolar type I, and anxiety. Not the best feeling in the world, but I'm glad I know what's up. I am now 3 months on T, starting my 4th here soon! It's been a bit stressful, but I'm doing the best I can as of right now. I have a boyfriend, who is absolutely amazing. He's so sweet and kind, so gentle and caring... I have never met someone I have been so happy with him, a lot happier than i have been before. My ex is now long gone, as I blocked him. He did things that can be considered sexual harassment, which I won't get into on here, but now I'm free and happy. Well, time to update you in the next 2 years.
Feb. 2 2023: I GOT MY FIRST T SHOT!!!! Holy shit, it feels so fucking cool. Nothing has really happened yet besides having to piss a bajillion times during the day, but other than that I am loving it. I feel really cool even if nothing has happened quite yet. Tomorrow I will have worked a full week, which isn't normal since I'm a student worker on campus, but at least it keeps me entertained. This wacky fucking lady keeps coming into the library and freaks everyone out to no end... She hasn't done anything bad but she just makes everyone uncomfy, which is really shitty. Anyway, figured out I'm probably addicted to nicotine but my life is going good either way so I could care less. That's it for today!
Jan. 26 2023: Well guys... I finally signed off on the paper to recieve Hormone Replacement therapy. I am so excited, and I can't wait...but I'm also nervous. I want to be more androgenous, more male presenting, but it's all so nervewracking, going and doing this. You can always stop, but it's not reversable. It's a permanent decision. I think due to me being just a trans person (masculine/non-binary) it is hard to come to terms with the fact that I like to be feminine sometimes, but it's also just hard to really accept some times. You're one way for your whole life up until this point, and when you change it it can be a clumsy process. It's surreal to think that something I've been dreaming about since 7th grade (I'm 19 now) is actually becoming a reality.
Jan. 9 2023: Sorry I haven't updated much, shit has been absolutely crazy here. We went on break on Dec 15th, and pretty much a few days in, my grandpa passed away. It was really hard, and we were all there to witness it, but it was still a very somber moment too. The funeral was two days ago, and everything went smpoothly. In other news, I got my dream job. I contacted the same funeral home and asked if they do job shadows, but they actually do part-time jobs and I can still learn. I'd get to work in the front and help with viewings and funerals, while also being a mortuary assistant and learn how to embalm and cremate people. I'll get to be hands on in a job that I have been wanting for years now, and I finally got the opportunity. If I like it, I may just work there and work on getting my license to work in a morgue. I haven't been this happy in a while. Though, with my grandfathers passing (oh, and getting my tonsils removed... I didn't mention that), things have been quite depressing, theres still good news that has come out of this. I'm so excited.
Nov. 10 2022: So my boyfriend was unable to come up, BUT, I still had an okay Friday and Saturday. All of my finals are done except for one paper, which I'm very happy about. I rediscovered my love for KMFDM, so now I'm listening to every album. I have 12 of the CDs... and I believe they have 23? 24? I can't remember, but I need to get all of them. I think my favourite songs are D.I.Y and Megalomaniac (as of right now). I've also been discovering more industrial music besides NIN, KMFDM, RAMMSTEIN, and Ministry. I enjoy more metal influenced industrial rather than techno influenced industrial, though. Skinny Puppy is a hard one to get into since it's a lot more synthy than I really like, but it's still alright. Anyway, enough of my rambling for now.
Nov. 8 2022: HTML is really fun, but also fucking stupid. I can't figure out how to make music play in the background, but I'll find a way to do it at some point. Anyway, my boyfriend might be coming to my town tomorrow to spend a couple nights. He lives 2 hours away, so it won't be a terrible drive I hope, but considering how gross and slick it is outside, I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't come. I have a math test on Friday for stats and a paper due on Monday, but other than that I basically have nothing. Next week I get to go home for the holidays and see my family and friends, as well as my pets (whom I miss very much). I can't wait to see everyone and just be home. College is stressful, especially with an extremely co-dependant father and people who you don't know.
Nov. 7 2022: Decided to update everything and go with a bit more of a new layout considering I got some inspo from some other people on here. I wanted to do something True Crime related since it's always interested me, so here we are. As I've said finals are next week and I have a paper due in a class that I absolutely fucking hate because the teacher is stupid as fuck. She is teaching an HONORS CLASS and can't even tell when to use "then" or "than"... and I feel like as a college professor teaching an honors level course about health you should know this shit. She just gets on my nerves. For the first three weeks of class she continuously deadnamed me until I stopped doing all classwork... Be cause I don't know who ****** is so, I'm not going to do the work if you don't name me. I did talk to her about it and she made up some bullshit excuse, but at least I have a passing grade in the class. We had to do a book report and I only read 20 pages, but I still got a 97%. At least her stupidity is good for something.
Nov. 6 2022: Welp, here's my first journal entry!!! I just finished this website, but will probably still add more blinkies and graphics in the future once I figure out more about HTML. I really like it so far but I might need some help. Anyways, my life is boring as hell, but sometimes cool things come up. I have finals in less than a week and I am not up for that... but then I get to go home for the holidays and celebrate Hanukkah with my family. So excited!!! Anyway. Thanks for reading this little blurb. I'm glad you checked me out and decided to read this! Go ahead and sign my guest book if you'd like.